


Three Step Trilogy

by ameliasnature



Category: Glee
Genre: Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 22:45:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/905841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ameliasnature/pseuds/ameliasnature
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt notices some changes in Sebastian that lead to a frightening discovery. Can they work through Seb's problems together? And just how close will they get? WARNINGS: Eating disorder</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Three Steps to Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I wrote this a more than a year ago and posted it on tumblr, then I linked to it from LJ, so I thought it was about time to post it here. I've edited a few mistakes and added like... one paragraph towards the very end of the whole story.

They had come to an understanding eventually. Blaine and Kurt would show up to The Lima Bean and sit down. Sebastian would show up a few minutes later, come on to Blaine, who'd politely refuse, then the three would actually talk and hang out. Really they were friends when you thought about it. Strange friends, but friends none the less.

Therefore, Kurt wasn't that surprised when he noticed the subtle changes in Sebastian. It started off slowly, the change actually happening with Blaine more than Sebastian, but Kurt knew that Blaine hadn't changed.

One day, after winter break, Blaine was a bit harsher in his refusal of Sebastian's come-ons. Not exactly rude or mean, but definitely much more sure and firm. It didn't seem to faze Sebastian at all. Which, again, not that surprising. However, it was the first of three things Kurt would notice.

The second thing  _was_  more directly related to Sebastian. Kurt nearly got whiplash when he realized it. Or rather, when he heard it. Sebastian's last come on had an almost desperate twinge to it. It was strange, hearing that tone, no matter how slight, coming from the Warbler. And it really threw off Kurt until well after their usual friendly conversation had started.

He would have mentioned something if the come-ons hadn't slowed down a week later. They still happened, and Blaine was still firm, and really, Kurt should have seen this as a third sign, but he didn't. He only saw it as a signal that Sebastian either had another man in his life ( _finally_ ) or he was getting bored of the constant refusals.

No, the third sign that Kurt acknowledged was a collection of things actually. Physical things. The first was Sebastian's teeth. For a boy who thought so highly of himself, they had become a bit yellow. Not terribly so, not even more than a person who brushed two or three times a day, but for Sebastian it was noticeable. Kurt wondered if he had stopped using whitening tooth paste or something.

Then there were the scratched fingers. Again, not too out of place on anybody else except that Sebastian wasn't the kind of boy that liked to get his hands dirty, let alone scratched and scabby. But it was so minor that Kurt doubted anyone else had noticed, or would even worry about it, so he let that slide.

Lastly, he noticed that the boy's face wasn't quite as narrow as it had been before. In fact, his cheeks were almost adorably puffy. This made Kurt sit up in attention. They were at a movie night at Sebastian's house. Only a few of the Warblers, some lacrosse players, Blaine and himself were there. So luckily glee club was strictly off limits. But Kurt had just called Sebastian cute, even if only in his head. If Blaine knew, he'd have called Kurt crazy, because everyone knew, even Kurt, that Sebastian was no less than down right sexy.

So Kurt watched that night. And what he saw scared him. Every time Sebastian would leave to get a fresh bowl of popcorn for them to share, he'd come back with a full bowl and a bag. A bag which he didn't seem to empty into the bowl or pass around. Kurt wouldn't have thought poorly of this if the bowl hadn't been refilled at least three times.

Towards the end of the movie he excused himself to the bathroom, but only went as far as the hallway. There he pulled out his phone and did an internet search on the physical changes he had noticed. He was about to read the results when Sebastian rushed by him, not noticing his presence and quickly went upstairs. Biting his lip, Kurt followed.

Slowly he approached the only closed door on the floor and was about to knock when he heard a harsh retching sound. He bent in half, nearly vomiting himself from the pain that such a realization shot through him. Carefully he sat next to the door. He looked at his phone, wanting, no  _needing_  to confirm his suspicions. Then hating himself for knowing.

He was on the verge of tears by the time Sebastian left the bathroom and nearly tripped over Kurt. Kurt quickly grabbed hold of his leg, stopping him from rejoining the other boys.

"What?" Sebastian asked, voice a little raspy and it tore another slice of pain through Kurt.

"Please stop," Kurt whispered. "Please don't do this to yourself anymore."

Slowly Sebastian removed Kurt's hand from his leg, shaking his head. "I've tried Kurt. But apparently this is how I'm meant to be, because nothing I try actually works." Then he was gone, heading back down the stairs.


	2. Three Steps to Recovery - Part One

By the time Kurt had returned the movie had ended but he couldn't find it in himself to care. If he hadn't seen the signs, or heard the proof a few minutes before he never would have expected that Sebastian had a problem. The boy was laughing and joking around with his friends, even singing a little, his voice having a rough quality that would have been a bit arousing for Kurt if he hadn't known what put it there.

He joined the group, sitting closer to the Warblers but not paying them any attention. He spent the rest of the time on his phone. Searching for as much information on bulimia he could find. By the time the others were leaving, Kurt thought he had enough information to at least start helping. He hung back, telling Blaine to go on home and that Tina and Mercedes wanted to do a little shopping so he'd meet them at the mall in a bit.

When he was the only one left he approached Sebastian. The boy was sitting on his couch, either unaware that he wasn't alone, or expecting Kurt to confront him. Slowly, Kurt sat next to him. He waited, hoping maybe the boy would speak first, but when he didn't, he took a breath.

"What did you try?" he asked, hoping the question was less invasive than 'why.'

Sebastian didn't look at him, but he did speak to the floor. "Diets. They actually helped for a little while, but after about a week and a half I realized I was doing it again. Then I tried fasting. Not completely, I knew I wouldn't last a day at Dalton without food. But I stopped eating breakfast and dinner. That fell through when the Warblers went to an all you can eat buffet."

Kurt didn't realize that Sebastian was crying until he wiped a tear away. Reaching out he put a hand on the boy's arm. "Will you let me help?" Kurt asked. "Because I don't like seeing anybody like this."

That was when Sebastian looked up, clearly trying to hold back the tears. "I want to, but I don't think you can help."

Smirking a little, Kurt held up his phone. "I've been researching for the past two hours. I think I know where we can start to try."

Sniffling, Sebastian nodded. "Okay," he whispered.

Pulling him close, Kurt let the boy cry into his chest. It was a while before he calmed down, but Kurt knew he had to work slow or risk making things worse. "You need to talk to me," he said. "That's the first step. But we don't have to do it right now."

Just then Kurt's phone rang and he answered, seeing it was his Dad. He tried to argue that he was busy at the moment, but apparently Blaine had called and mentioned Kurt going shopping. He considered telling his dad about Sebastian, but after a glance at the boy in question he decided to wait.

When he hung up Sebastian just shrugged. "It's okay. I'm not exactly ready to talk right now."

"Okay," replied Kurt, standing up. "We can meet when you are. Or you can just call me. I'll try to answer if I can."

The call didn't come until three nights later. Kurt was just turning out his light close to one o'clock when the phone rang and he quickly picked it up, not wanting his dad to hear. "Hello?" he whispered.

"I'm in love," came Sebastian's voice, rough once again, followed quickly by the flush of a toilet.

"Sebastian? Are you okay?" whispered Kurt, sitting up and wondering if he'd have to sneak out and pick the boy up from some bar.

The sniffle he heard told him the boy was distraught not drunk. So he relaxed.

"I'm in love with Blaine," Sebastian continued, ignoring Kurt's question. "But he's in love with you. I need to be more like you if I want to be with him."

Kurt tried to interject, but was interrupted as Sebastian continued with a twenty minute explanation. Kurt listened through it all, just wishing he could help. It was late by the time Sebastian finished, and both agreed to meet the next day at the Lima Bean.

As soon as Kurt sat down across from the boy, Sebastian asked, "And the next step?"

Kurt had thought about it, and it pained him to say it. "You need to avoid any triggers."

"But Blaine is my trigger."

"I know."


	3. Three Steps to Recovery - Part Two

It took a while. Blaine was curious when Sebastian either didn't show up at the Lima Bean or didn't sit with them when he did. Eventually, Sebastian came up with the idea to just disappear altogether and blame it on increased school work. Then it was only a matter of trying to forget. That was harder. Soon, Sebastian was calling Kurt whenever he was thinking of Blaine and wanting to keep eating.

At first Kurt would just talk Sebastian through it. Distract him until he seemed to be fine. But then the boy admitted to binging and purging after he was off the phone. Not every time, but sometimes.

So Kurt changed tactics. He constantly complimented Sebastian, every time they spoke, every time they saw each other. Anything from "you look good today" to "you have very nice handwriting." Kurt complimented it all.

When that seemed to work, Sebastian finally asked Kurt over the phone one night, "What's the third step."

Kurt had smiled. Proud that the boy had decided to take the next step. "You need to find a professional. Someone trained to work with eating disorders."

By the time they got off the phone, Sebastian had written down the numbers of three such people in their area. Kurt was sure to say, "You work fast, Smythe," before hanging up the phone.

The day that Sebastian went to his first meeting, Kurt only got one call. One call asking for that last little push to get into the office. Then it was almost a week before he heard from him again. He was so startled that he leapt across his bed to grab his phone.

"Hello?" he asked, breathless.

"Wanna go out to coffee?"

He didn't know why, but Kurt smiled. "Of course. What time would you like to meet at the Lima Bean?" He knew better than to ask about his problem, especially when the boy sounded almost like the first day they met.

"Actually, there's a new place I'd like to try out."

It wasn't until halfway through their meeting that Kurt realized the Lima Bean reminded Sebastian of Blaine. The boy was simply trying to get rid of everything having to deal with Blaine out of his life. He tried to think of it himself, and he couldn't, not without hurting. Then he realized that he'd probably eventually have to say good bye to Sebastian as well, being Blaine's boyfriend. That seemed to cause a physical pain and he flinched in the middle of Sebastian's story.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Kurt nodded, deciding to examine the flinch later that night. "I'm fine, just a twinge. Mr. Schue tried to make me move opposite of what Mike wanted. I may be flexible, but I'm not a contortionist." At least it was half true. He hadn't hurt himself during that particular feat.

"Oh, good," smirked Sebastian, "Cause I need a good influence in my life. And who has a healthier diet than you?"

And Kurt grabbed onto that, hoping for that little extra time with the boy.

Time passed. The calls continued, but they didn't seem to be only when Sebastian was struggling. Sometimes they were because he got an 'A' on a particularly difficult test. Or sometimes it was because Kurt wanted to talk about the solo he'd gotten in glee that day.

Soon it was graduation. The Dalton event was hard for Sebastian because Blaine went with Kurt. But he managed to survive after getting a few tips from his nutritionist. He didn't go to Kurt's graduation, knowing he would have ended up sitting with Blaine. So the two met the day after at their own coffee shop.

"I wanted to meet today for another reason," Sebastian said after congratulations had been shared.

"Why's that?" asked Kurt.

"It's been two months. I've been… in control for two months."

Kurt shot out of his chair, throwing his arms around his friend and hugging him tight. "That's wonderful, Seb! I'm so proud of you. I knew you could do it."

"I'm not safe yet, but…" Sebastian pulled away, smirking at their close proximity, "I always get what I want."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the bulimia information I used was from one sight. Some of it I used more loosely (I think) for "artistic" purposes. If for any reason you want to know the sight feel free to PM me and I'll send it to you.


	4. Three Steps to a Lover - Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you know what these three steps are feel free to tell me cause I lost track. :P

They didn't physically see each other for the next seven months. Sebastian was whisked away to Europe for University before the end of June, but they kept in touch through Skype and expensive phone calls.

It was that January when Kurt found himself lacking a roommate because Rachel had decided to elope with Finn over winter break. Finn was still going over seas, but because they were married, Rachel had some other housing with another college army wife. Kurt wasn't sure how long that all would last before Finn and Rachel both returned to Lima, but they were happy, so he stayed quiet. Either way, he needed a roommate to help him pay the rent.

He was startled and happy to find Sebastian standing on the other side of his door, when he opened it a week after posting an ad for potential roommates.

"I heard you were in need of some company," Sebastian asked, leaning against the wall, fedora blocking half his face.

"Seb," smiled Kurt, hands flexing a bit as he stepped back to invite the boy inside. "How have you been?"

"Good. I finally convinced my parents to let me attend NYU. As long as I minor in business management I can do whatever I want."

"That's wonderful." Kurt got them each a hot chocolate and less than an hour later, Sebastian had a place to live, and Kurt was happy to let the boy's parents pay half the rent while they split the rest. Meaning Kurt paid half of his usual, which meant more money for better clothes… perfect.

It didn't take long to settle in together. Sebastian had his own room, so when Kurt Skyped with Blaine, Seb either stayed in bed, or left completely. And it seemed to work. The roommates were clearly friends. Close friends, even, but they weren't joined at the hip. Kurt had some friends that Seb didn't like and vice versa, but they had a common group and they never really fought. Though Kurt blamed that on himself being more aware of what he said, being careful not to insult Sebastian too much and trigger anything.

All in all everything was going well. They had their own lives. Sometimes they intersected quite nicely instead of their clashing from when they first met. Then Spring break arrived.

Blaine had the week off before Kurt and Sebastian, so he was supposed to come up and visit. Sebastian was supposed to stay with a friend for that week. The only problem was that Blaine showed up early in order to surprise Kurt. But Kurt wasn't home. Sebastian was, and he was on his way out.

It was a short meeting, filled with tension. Blaine's only words were, "What have you been up to? I haven't seen you in so long."

Sebastian just shrugged. "Just school. I'm actually leaving right now." Then he'd left as fast as he could after offering the apartment up for Blaine to make himself at home.

Kurt never found out. Blaine never mentioned Sebastian, holding onto a few feelings of jealousy that Kurt was able to stay in touch and not Blaine. The day after Blaine left, and Sebastian returned, Kurt was busy with papers and tests in preparation for the end of the year, so he didn't see the boy eat an extra package of Ramen before and after he got in. Nor did he hear Sebastian in the restroom because he had his earphones on to help cancel out noise and distractions.

It wasn't until after finals that Kurt heard it. The quiet coughs, followed by a flush, a running faucet, and a spit. He stood there, tears in his eyes and shaking his head as Sebastian opened the door and stepped into the hallway. He didn't want to believe it after he heard proof. He didn't want to believe it after seeing the guilt on Sebastian's face. But he had no choice but to believe it when he kissed him and tasted the bitter flavor of bile on his tongue.

"You are so much better than him," Kurt whispered, "Because you've beaten this before." Then he turned and walked to his room.


	5. Three Steps to a Lover - Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Blaine is a bit douchey. Sorry. I tried to redeem him a bit towards his exit.

Kurt broke up with Blaine that summer. Not because of Sebastian. That wouldn't be fair because Blaine didn't know. But a lot of things came to light that summer. First being that Blaine was a little obnoxious about his acceptance into NYADA. Kurt had congratulated him when he got the letter… and again when they were actually together… in the bed room. But every other conversation they had was about NYADA. And even if Kurt had never been interested it would be getting annoying.

The second reason was because he didn't feel as close to Blaine anymore. He hated to say it, but they had drifted apart. And Kurt had a feeling that even if they tried to be friends, it just wouldn't work. Blaine would be making his own friends, and Kurt already had his. Kurt had Sebastian. He knew something would come up and they might part on bad terms.

The last reason, the one that Kurt tried to ignore but realized he couldn't, was their last big fight. Which didn't sound that bad… except that it was about Sebastian, at least for Kurt, and he hated blaming his break-up on the boy.

Blaine had suggested that they live together in New York. Kurt had declined, pointing out he had a roommate. Blaine had suggested helping him find a new place. Kurt had pointed out they could do the same for Blaine.

"Why don't you want to get rid of your roommate? What is so important about him that you don't want to live with me?"

Kurt couldn't believe his ears. Apparently Blaine had forgotten who exactly his roommate was. "Because he's Sebastian and he needs my help!" Kurt had yelled back, glad that they were alone in his house. "I can't kick him out. No matter how much I try to help relocate him. He won't understand, Blaine."

That shuts Blaine up. He doesn't respond. He doesn't ask what Kurt means. But he sits and looks at Kurt, a hurt look on his face. "First he tries to get me from you, and now he's trying to get you from me?"

"What? No! He's not like that, Blaine." He feels a pain go through him at the idea that Sebastian would be like that. "It's more complicated than that."

And when Blaine asks how, Kurt tells. It was hard. Telling Blaine that Sebastian's problem was triggered by him. But he feels a deeper pain when he realizes he's betraying Sebastian's trust.

Blaine leaves that afternoon, single. He'd been hurt, but now he held no more animosity towards Kurt. They parted with the plan not to avoid each other, but accept that they wouldn't seek each other out either. The first person Kurt thought to call was Sebastian.

They met at the park, the weather being warm but not hot.

"I told him," Kurt whispered. "I had to tell him the truth."

"What did he say?"

"He wished he could apologize in person, but understood that he couldn't. We don't hate each other, but we're more acquaintances than friends now. He shouldn't be showing up unannounced anymore."

Neither of them voiced the implied, "You'll never have to see him again."

Sebastian walked Kurt home in silence, offering his own support even as he accepted some from Kurt. "I'm sorry it had to end because of this." Sebastian said as he prepared to leave Kurt at his doorstep.

Kurt grabbed his face, holding it between his hands. "The only thing this did was help us part on good terms. It would have happened eventually. And if it wasn't for  _this_ , then we would have hated each other. So thank you." He dropped his hands and went inside without another word.

Kurt was melancholy for the next day or so. But he was only a little confused when he never felt the urge to cry over Blaine. He knew that meant he hadn't loved Blaine for a while. But he refused to acknowledge just what else it might mean.

He and Sebastian didn't see each other too much more that summer, spending time with their families. But a month before school started Kurt sent a text:  _want 2 go home?_

Sebastian stared at the text, grinning a little. He'd struggled that night of the break-up and a few times since, but thinking about what Kurt would think kept him from going into the bathroom.

He sent a fast ' _yes!'_  back to Kurt before starting to pack.

His problem had started because of an extreme crush. Now he was positive he could beat it because he'd fallen in love.


	6. Three Steps to a Lover - Part Three

It was easy, getting back to normal once they returned to New York. In fact, things were easier than before. Kurt found himself relaxing more, not having to worry about a call from Blaine, or making sure he couldn't be over heard when talking to him. And he found himself hanging with Sebastian a bit more.  _That_  he really liked.

Things changed when Sebastian got drunk one night at a frat party. He'd walked in, stumbling around and desperately calling for Kurt. Kurt had run in, only in his pajama bottoms from being in the middle of changing, worried that Sebastian had managed to meet Blaine by accident.

Luckily it was nothing so drastic. Sebastian was only scared of what would happen to him if he ended up puking because of the alcohol. And he really didn't want that to happen at all. So Kurt helped him to the bathroom, getting him to sit on the floor close to the toilet.

"Breathe deeply," he said, voice calm, "Slowly. Just stay calm and relax. I'm going to get you some water." As he stood to leave he felt a hand on his leg.

"Please don't leave me," Sebastian whispered.

Smiling, Kurt knelt back down. "I'm just going to the kitchen. I'll be right back."

"Don't ever leave me," Sebastian repeated as if he hadn't heard Kurt. "I don't think I'd survive without you."

That worried Kurt a little, but he nodded slowly. "Just let me get you some water from the sink here." He stayed on his knees, hoping it helped his friend stay calm. It seemed to work and he returned with the boy's cup he kept by the sink for rinsing his mouth. "Drink up, Sebby," he mumbled, holding the cup to the boy's lips.

Sebastian did as told and Kurt refilled the water to give him more.

"I'm in love with you, Kurt," were the sleepy words out of the boy's mouth. "I know that now. If you ever dated anyone else, I don't think I would last that long without you."

Struck speechless by the genuine words, Kurt just sat next to Sebastian. About an hour later, Kurt figured the boy was safe from puking and carefully dragged him to the master bed.

The next morning Sebastian looked incredibly nervous when Kurt woke up, arm draped over the hung-over boy's chest. "Good morning," Kurt grinned.

"Did we…?" Sebastian waved a hand between them. Then he seemed to first take in his own completely dressed state and Kurt's half-dressed state. "Oh my god! Did I fall asleep when we were about to…?"

Kurt chuckled, snuggling a little closer. "You're more worried about falling asleep during sex, than the fact that we slept together?"

"So we did?"

Kurt nodded, closing his eyes to try and catch a little extra doze. "You came home drunk, told me you love me, then I dragged you into my bed so we could fall asleep on a mattress and not a bathroom floor."

"Kurt, I was drunk," Sebastian tried to talk himself out of it, but Kurt wouldn't have it.

"And you were completely honest with me. Besides, I've been thinking. If we use your closet as storage, we should be able to fit your stuff in my closet too. Same with the dressers."

By the end of the day Sebastian was officially moved in to Kurt's bedroom. Well, now they called it the master bedroom. Sebastian's old room was deemed the guest room.

However, other than the living arrangements, nothing changed much. They hung out a bit more, but still had their own time by themselves or with friends. While they slept together, that was all they did, sleep. But they did cuddle more, or at least, more openly. And they kissed more, that was a big change, but it never went further, neither of them really feeling the need to. They were both comfortable in the fact that they had a lot of time together, and that things would definitely be happening in the future, but there was no need to rush it.

That changed when Kurt was out with a study group two months into the semester, and Sebastian was looking for an old grammar booklet. He knew it was in a box that had been in his closet before the move and he'd already searched that old one, so it must have been relocated. He pulled down the first shoebox and dropped it almost immediately after opening it, the contents scattering on the floor.

He went to the kitchen then, calling his boyfriend. Kurt showed up fifteen minutes later to see the kitchen in disrepair, almost all of the food sitting out on the counters.

"I want to eat," Sebastian said, "But I know I can't. I know what will happen when I'm finished."

"What triggered this?" Kurt asked, going up to him and touching his cheek.

"I accidentally found your pictures. In the box… on the floor in the bedroom."

Kurt kissed Sebastian softly before going to their room and finding his old pictures of Blaine scattered around. He quickly picked them up, shoving them back into the box, finding some tape and taping it shut. He and Blaine had ended on good terms, so he couldn't bring himself to just trash them. He thought he'd keep them as a nostalgic item, like a high school yearbook. Now he'd have to rethink that plan.

Returning to the kitchen he was surprised to find it halfway clean. Silently he helped, proud that Sebastian had fought his urges. When they were finished, he walked up to his boyfriend and kissed him. "You've done so well, Seb."

"When I saw his pictures I just thought about how perfect he had been. How happy you were with him. And a part of me still thinks I can't live up to that."

Kurt shook his head, smiling. He'd had a few reservations when they first started dating, remembering what Seb had said in the bathroom that one night, but now he realized the truth. He'd loved Sebastian since high school. If he hadn't then he wouldn't have noticed the changes in the boy. Nor would he have been able to be the sole support for the boy as he worked through his illness.

"You can't live up to that, Sebastian, because you've already lived  _past_  it. We may not be perfect  _for_  each other, but we are perfect  _with_  each other." He kissed Sebastian then, tugging impatiently on his shirt. "I love you, Sebastian Smythe, and I won't ever want anyone else."

And just like that, Sebastian felt that pressure from his fight lift up. He might have a few aftershocks, but something inside told him that he'd finally beat it. Completely. So now he could give himself to Kurt… completely. And he did. And Kurt had never seen a more beautiful or perfect man.

THE END


End file.
